July 1 FUNNY NEWS

Friday July 1


A FERRY broke down in San Fransisco today causing commuter delays.
What's the problem.
That city couldn't find another FERRY in all of SAN FRANSISCO?

My cousin Elmer told me the place is full of FERRIES!



Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Ex-presdient of the IMF or the

I Might Feel You ....

I might Fondle you......
or I might F*** You Fund
(I'm not sure what it stands for)
looks like he might get off. {not in THAT SPECIAL way}
His accuser maid might be a drug dealer and is accused of lying before about molestation.

Strauss-Kahn said that the ordeal has not been all bad.

He really enjoyed wearing the ankle bracelet and hand cuffs

and he didn't even have to pay extra!

 

I have had it up to here with AnthonyWeiner.


What does a sexually disgraced politician in New York do when asked to leave.


Get a CABLE NEWS TALK SHOW!


Weiner will now hook up with Former New York Govenator

Elliot Spitzer for the WEINER/SPITZER News Hour....



It will be on the ALL NEWS PLAYBOY CHANNEL

and Weiner will probably be running the CAMERA phone.

Spitzer's Female Co-host, Kathleen Parker, quit after Elliot

kept trying to stick $50 Bills in her BRA after she told really good news stories.

And are we sure it was Weiner's DING DONG sticking outside of his jockey shorts or his nose?  Have you seen that thing?

You know what they say.....BIG NOSE......BIG KLEENEX BOX
 

A guy was stung by a SCORPIAN on an ALASKA Airlines flight yesterday.      Most shocking was...

 
When his arm swelled up they charged him $35 for the EXTRA BAG!