Best Girl's Names

Check this OUT

http://jezebel.com/map-sixty-years-of-the-most-popular-names-for-girls-s-1443501909


 

Killer Kids

A 4 YEAR OLD kid shot and killed a 48 year old woman in Tennessee today

and 

A 4 YEAR OLD kid shot and killed a 6 year old kid in Toms River, NJ today.


GUN VIOLENCE LESSON?

TOO MANY Guns!    
and 
ANY Gun Kills!

 or


If a 4 year old asks you for more soda
GIVE IT TO HIM

Wear Bullet Proof Vests when dining at 
CHUCK E CHEESE

Hope 4 year old forgot and loaded
GUN with CRAYONS

If 4 year old throws a TANTRUM
make sure their High Capacity AMMO CLIP
is limited to only 10 ROUNDS

And finally,
Stay away from ARMED 4 year old kids

WATCH: http://youtu.be/hLUSAE9-MVg

Gay Marriage and Abortion

Hey

Won't Same Sex Marriage solve the Abortion Issue?

If everyone that is married is the same sex,

then we won't have a need for Abortion!

We won't be having babies!

Everbody Is The Same Sex....

HEY!  Where Do I Stick THIS THING?!?!?!?

Just a thought

A Stupid Thought

New Fifty Shades of Grey and Richard simmons

                 

                    AS RICHARD SIMMONS!!!!!

WHICH INVOLVES TAYLOR SWIFT AND
                         A GOAT!!!!!!!!

                  


                   She really really really wants
                  Michele Obama's BANGS!!!!!

Hammer Feet and The View

                       Being arrested has a
           LIFE CHANGING effect on you

WAIT

They were actually Michael Moore's REAL FEET

WAIT

              She saw THIS GUY in her sleep

Drew, Jenny and Strip

 

 

 

That "Procedure" was to QUIT Drinking and STOP talking like a 12 year old!

She "Believed" everyone at the event should be NAKED!

The "Real" problem was that she couldn't
HITCH-HIKE home!
 
The Strip Club told her it was part of their
NEW EMPLOYEE WEIGHT-LOSS Program!

Pope Update

The Pope had a heart implant 5 years ago.

He had the battery replaced last week.

Did He get one of those

BOING 787 Batteries?

 

Casey Anthony Legal

Casey Anthony's lawyer said that Casey would make a great Paralegal because she is intelligent and determined and she will kill your ass if you spilled your milk in the courtroom! 

Iceland - NEW NAME

I heard ICELAND is looking for a New Name.

HOW ABOUT




NOT-ICELAND!!!!!!!!!!!

Honey Boo Boo Trump

Names of Stars released for CELEBRITY APPRENTICE Season.

First thing Donald Trump yelled was,
"What NO HONEY BOO BOO?!?!?!"

Mitt Romney has all his women in a BINDER. 
His favorite song is Bruce Springstein's
"BINDED by the LIGHT"

But He says He will not keep HIS DOG in a BINDER.
And no Mr. Romney

Sandra Bullock was not in "The Bind Side". 
I don't know what she did with JESSE JAMES in private...


 

Booby Bloomberg

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to make it illegal to drink large drinks and sodas in New York City. 

Now he is requireing women to Breast Feed!

SO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Woman cannot Breastfeed her baby within the limits of New York City if she has Breasts Larger than 16 ounces each.

Bieber HOT

It is Soooooooooo HOT!

It is Hotter than Jerry Sandusky tickeling Justin Bieber in a shower after a Penn State Game...

Hot!

China sent the first lady into space.

Her father wanted a boy!

A guy got caught making Meth in the bathroom of a WALMART Store.

It was the only thing in the store made in AMERICA!

Heat Alert Use Mass Transit.

MASS Transit.....Is that how Catholics go back and forth to church?

Zombie Apocalypse Advice

A man in Miami happens upon a homeless man on the sidewalk and chews off 75% of his face in an 18-minute attack. The attacker's mother later says her son is not a zombie as portrayed in the media.

Authorities in Canada have launched a massive manhunt for a suspect after a severed hand was sent to Canada's Liberal Party, a foot to the Conservatives and a torso was stuffed in a suitcase and tossed in the trash of the Montreal apartment building where he lived.

A Maryland man admits to killing his housemate, cutting him up, then eating his heart and part of his brain.

A New Jersey man rips his torso open and throws bits of his intestines at police, according to the Bergen Record.


Here's some advice...................

Don't sleep near any SALT and PEPPER shakers.

Elvis Presley did not sing "LOVE ME TENDER-IZED"

If someone asks you out to DINNER make sure YOU are not on the MENU.

Remember Victor is your COUSIN not your CUISINE.

Just because SHE's A CRAB does not mean that you EAT HER.

Don't pick your nose.  And don't pick anyone else's nose or BRAINS or INTESTINES.

Have the Chicken Fingers not the HUMAN FINGERS.

If the waiter brings you ribs.  Make sure they were not surgically removed from THE BUSBOY.
And finally, leave the restaurant immediaetly if Jeffrey Dalmer and Hannibal Lector are dining next to you.

One last question......Does it count if I BITE MY NAILS?

Trump and the Tan Lady

                                 Is Donald Trump starting to look like a RACCOON with those tan lines?
                  We should check his BIRTH CERTIFICATE to make sure he is not related to this lady!

Gaga Sign CEO

Someone threatened to tenderize her meat dress
and that country has a very strict FACE CODE!

I think this sign company might need a few more workers in the creative department!

I want to work at a company where the CEO doesn't really wear a real shirt!

Outlaw Forces

Here's a few things I saw in the news

These are the famous Outlaws Bonnie and Bonnie

Just in time too.  She was about to eat THE KITCHEN!

This guy has a VERY FORCEFUL DENTIST!

Drunk Doctor

I got a bad ear infection. 
I asked the Drunken Doctor why and he said,
"You got infected mainly because you're full of shit!"

I told the Drunk Doctor that I thought I was growing Whiskers.
He asked if I had ice for the Whiskey.

I told him I had a CRAMP and PAIN and the Drunk Doctor said,
"That Champaigne better be chilled!"

And guy came in and said he was SHOT!
The Drunk Doctor said, "Make that a DOUBLE SHOT for me baby!"

A woman came in with a bad cut and the Drunk Doctor told me,
"It's just BLOODY MARY. And I don't make much of a CELERY!"

Then a guy came in and said he stepped on something sharp
The Drunk Doctor knew immediately He had a RUSTY NAIL.

Someone was pounding in the office next to the Drunk Doctor and he said it was HARVEY WALLBANGER.

By the way, the nurse in the Drunk Doctor's office is named MARGARITA!

Mitt ROMNEY's Dog

Hey. Don't get Mitt Romney MAD at you.

He won't
THROW YOU UNDER THE BUS

He will
PUT YOU ON TOP OF THE CAR!

John Edward's Girlfriends Box

Ex Presidential candidate John Edwards who had an affair and a love-child with another woman while his wife was dying of cancer, has major heart problems.
Doctors are having a hard time FINDING one in him!

They say his illness is LIFE Threatening.  How about when ELIZABETH found out about the other woman?
Now that probably got near LIFE Threatening.  She probably slapped him so hard!

Also
A man in England was so bored with his fiance that he put her in a computer box and tried to
bury her alive.
He proved the old Proverb: 
Girls!
Can't live with them.....
and Can't keep them buried alive in a computer box!

Kim jong il

North Korean Leader Kim jong il died.

He is no longer IL.

He is DEAD!

Best Quote:  I'm five foot three but nobody
F*****   with me!