A man in Miami happens upon a homeless man on the sidewalk and chews off 75% of his face in an 18-minute attack. The attacker's mother later says her son is not a zombie as portrayed in the media.
Authorities in Canada have launched a massive manhunt for a suspect after a severed hand was sent to Canada's Liberal Party, a foot to the Conservatives and a torso was stuffed in a suitcase and tossed in the trash of the Montreal apartment building where he lived.
A Maryland man admits to killing his housemate, cutting him up, then eating his heart and part of his brain.
A New Jersey man rips his torso open and throws bits of his intestines at police, according to the Bergen Record.
Here's some advice...................
Don't sleep near any SALT and PEPPER shakers.
Elvis Presley did not sing "LOVE ME TENDER-IZED"
If someone asks you out to DINNER make sure YOU are not on the MENU.
Remember Victor is your COUSIN not your CUISINE.
Just because SHE's A CRAB does not mean that you EAT HER.
Don't pick your nose. And don't pick anyone else's nose or BRAINS or INTESTINES.
Have the Chicken Fingers not the HUMAN FINGERS.
If the waiter brings you ribs. Make sure they were not surgically removed from THE BUSBOY.
And finally, leave the restaurant immediaetly if Jeffrey Dalmer and Hannibal Lector are dining next to you.
One last question......Does it count if I BITE MY NAILS?
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