Stand up 1

Hockey is sooooo boring!  They don't have a TWO MINUTE WARNING.  
They have a Two HOUR WARNING.  
WARNING!  Two More Hours of HOCKEY!

With girls, I can hold my own!  
Which is what they usually wind up telling me to do!

Is it your Golden Years when you have more TOES than TEETH?

Arthritis is when you are stiff everywhere in your body except WHERE YOU NEED IT THE MOST!  Viagra

This guy had an a really sharp lawyer.  
He had a rape charge reduced to tailgating!
Sorry

Soap Opera Prayer

Mass Killing Network

Have you noticed all of the mass shootings and killings going on?  Tall guys on the internet.  Girls don't like me.  Hate groups like me.  I hate Mondays!  

There could be three mass killings a day now.....  School shootings, Stores, movie theatres, restaurants......  

I think it is time to start a Mass Killing TV Network that just covers these crazy crimes.  You can advertise guns and knives and video games and block buster movies. 

Shows like Duck Dynasty but just called DUCK!

How about Saturday Night Dead!

Not America's Got Talent but America's Got Target!

So You Think You Can Dance is now So You Think You Can Shoot!

How about The Young and The Defenseless!

STOP IT

http://youtu.be/hLUSAE9-MVg

Did it kinda start with paintball?
Let's go have fun and shoot all of our friends!