Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Cosby Affluenza

TV Star Bill Cosby just got charged with criminal sexual assault for drugging and having sex with a woman in 2004.  

I think his plan should be to head down to Mexico and party with the Affluenza kid Ethan Couch and his Mom.   

They can drink, play beer pong and hide from the law.

But Ethan,  check your Mom's drinks for funny stuff!  

Monday, December 28, 2015

Desparado Trump

To the tune of "Desperado," with apologies to Don Henley and Glen Frey 

Dear old Donald, why don't you come to your senses, you've been out building fences for so long now,
You're a hard one, you think that you got your reasons,
These ideas that are pleasin' you are gonna hurt us somehow.
Don't you build that wall in Texas, Don,
Those workers are so able,
The Mexicans are really our best friends.
And it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table,
So it's time for you to finally make amends.

Dear old Donald, you ain't getting no younger,
Your wealth and your hunger are driving you nuts.
And freedom, oh freedom, that's America talkin',
Go out and go golfin' and start making your putts.

You know the poor get cold in the wintertime,
When the snow comes down and the sun won't shine,
It's hard for them to get enough to eat.
Your losin' all your good intents,
Please why not try some common sense, you sleaze?

Dear old Donald, why don't you come to your senses,
Stop talkin' 'bout fences, let's open our gates,
It might seem scary, but we're a really strong nation,
You must remember Lady Liberty,
Remember Lady Liberty, remember Lady Liberty, before it's too late.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Syria Apples

Fun Fact

If you are reading this on your I Phone, I Pad or Mac    

Keep in Mind

That 

STEVE JOBS

Was the son of a

Syrian Immigrant to The USA

Trump immigrated from 

Queens after his dad left him a real estate empire.

Sunday, December 06, 2015

ISIS MAFIA

This was on a wall in New York City



Thursday, November 19, 2015

ISIS

I SWEAR

IF I HEAR THE WORD

ISIS

ONE MORE TIME......

I WILL BLOW MYSELF UP!

And why do the women cover themselves up?


Trump Facelift

Did this guy get a DONALD?





Saturday, October 31, 2015

Love Birds

Friday, October 30, 2015

Democratic Debate

I'm sitting here in the relative comfort of my living room, waiting to finish Stephen King's 11/22/63, and wondering how he's going to make it all work out. It's pretty safe bet that Ms. Clinton wishes she could climb down through a time-trap door of her own into the recent past, sometime before the Benghazi Nazis committed mayhem, so she could save those four members of the diplomatic corps. Not only to save their lives, but to save her pride and dignity, and avoid the frying pan being swung madly at her coiffured bouffant by the highly partisan partisans running the McCarthyesque Congressional committee she's facing today. Back into the Future may have missed the boat on the Cubs, but the prequel, Blasting Back into the Past, is spot on. One Joe tells us he's not running, and on the flip side another Joe is drooling in anticipation as he awaits the arrival of Elia Kazan in the witness box.
Of course, this could turn out to be the best publicity she could ever hope to have. If the American people were wondering how she would perform under pressure and if she had the chops to demonstrate her detailed knowledge of foreign policy and the intimate workings of the military, they're getting their money's worth. And if anyone doubted that right-wing wackos were running amok in the halls of Congress, they now not only have Senator Cruz to fear, they also have these bozo fools to suffer. 
Remember the last time a Clinton was under the gun by these same wackos? It was all over some hanky-panky in the Oval Orifice. How times have changed. Or not. And then we had the Clarence Thomas hearings, followed by the Clarence Thomas rulings, which included pulling the rug out from under Al Gore, and handing the reins of government over to Junior, who led us into the worst foreign policy disaster in modern history. Which brings us full circle to Libya and these circus hearings. What comes around, goes around, bites you in the ass, and doesn't even leave a hickey. Stay tuned for Donald's take on this. But I forgot, he already thinks she was the worst Secretary of State in American history.

Republican debate 1

The supposedly biased "liberal" press machine was the target of several full-frontal attacks by Republican candidates for president as CNBC hosted the third Republican debate last night. Ted Cruz said that journalists had lobbed big, fat, softball questions to the Democratic candidates at their first debate, and had praised them as wise and handsome. I don't remember that happening, but Bernie Sanders may now be wondering whom Cruz thought was handsome and whom he thought was wise.
Marco Rubio claimed that the press had lauded Clinton for having a great week with her performances at the Democratic debate and in the dragons' den that was the congressional hearing on the tragedy in Benghazi, when in fact, he said, all she did was prove that she was a liar. Donald Trump denied having accused Mark Zuckerberg of being in the political pocket of Rubio, whom he immediately complimented, and the moderator backed down and apologized. Of course, she was right, and it is telling that she got her Trump quote off his own website, which the Don might want to review every once in a while.
But when it comes to picking the winner at the debate it was no contest: the French work week. Jeb Bush was making the point that Rubio has been noticeably absent for many Senate votes during the course of his campaign for president, and said that maybe Marco was treating his job as Senator from Florida as a French worker might, only showing up three days a week. First of all, my question is: who has landed all these cushy jobs in France, and where do I sign up? When I worked in Paris at Schlumberger, I showed upMonday to Friday, and so did everyone else.
But Bush's comment may finally bring focus to the fact that a shorter work week is a very good idea, and that recent research has shown that productivity goes up and employee morale soars when when everyone has more time for family, friends and fraternity. With the huge advances in technology we have made over the years, we don't need as much time to do the same tasks. Even Henry Ford realized that you can't overwork your workers, and that a decent work-life balance is a win-win for everyone (maybe I should say, win-win-win-win-ad infinitum).
I was also very happy to hear that Ted Cruz realizes he isn't someone I would want to go out and have a beer with ("I saw him the other day at a roadside bar, he was walking in, I was walking out, we went back inside, had a few drinks, and all we kept talking about was, glory days, glory days, glory days"). However, I probably would enjoy having a beer with any of the other candidates, as long as they were buying, so I could at least try to understand what makes them tick, and discover why they have such a skewed vision of reality.
A few final stage notes to the candidates. Jeb Bush, think about this: if we all worked a three-day week, there would be so much more time for Fantasy Football. Carly Fiorina: get a new hairdo. Marco Rubio: take a hint from another Frenchman, former President Nicolas Sarkozy, and find some lifts for your shoes. With your youthful looks, you could have been a senior in a high school debating the dress code. And for everyone, lay off the press and stopping shooting the messenger.

Friday, October 09, 2015

COSBY

Stardom
Is as 
INTOXICATING

as 
WHAT 
COSBY
put into
THEIR DRINK

Thursday, October 08, 2015

Breast Hispanic Food Coffee

It's National Breast Cancer Month

It's National Hispanic Month

National Food Alergy Day is Coming up and

National Coffee Day was Last Week!

So If You Are Hispanic, Have Breast Cancer, a Food Alergy and Drink Coffee.

THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!

Monday, October 05, 2015

Caitlyn Freezes Hillary


Woman Arrested After Her Boyfriend's Body is Found in a Freezer in Her Living Room
Hey
She just thought he was VERY COOL!

Hillary has Long History of Beating up Bill behind Closed Doors:  BOOK

Hey
I bet the first place she hit him was in his BALLS!

Kris Jenner Goes Off About Caitlyn Jenner on "KUWTK"  'He Can Go Fuck Himself'

Hey 
I think he already did.  He has BOTH PARTS now, I think!



Thursday, September 17, 2015

Tatum, Knievel, TRUMP

Channing Tatum is starring in a new film about The Great Stuntman EVEL Knievel.  Knievel broke 400 bones in his career and Channing does his own stunts as we saw in MAGIC MIKE.  He didn't break his hip once!

Johnny Depp stars as mobster/killer Whitey Bolger.  The victims of Bolger don't want him glorified but Johnny came out and said that "Everybody has a humane side."  Sure, sometimes Bolger would let the people lay down before him cut them up and shot them.  This film might resurrect someone's DEAD Career.  Hey Johnny, just read the lines.

There is a daytime talk show called THE REAL.
The young ladies talk about how it is good to look however you are.  Tall, fat, not so good looking, it is OK to be who you are no matter what you think is wrong with you.
Then they have a segment called "How to take FIVE POUNDS OFF OF YOUR FACE!"

What did DONALD TRUMP say when he went BANKRUPT?

"I don't have TOUPEE!"




Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Trump, Giants, Utah,

A 15 year old kid was arrested for wanting to blow up the Pope.  Is he old enough to blow up the Pope?  Don't you have to be a certain legal age before you can blow things up?

Neil Patrick Harris's show is "The Most Boring Show EVER!" 

Donald Trump leads with Evangelicals.  He is divorced three times and does not know the address of his church.  In his church, people believe in the HIGHER Power.  Called Money!

The New York Giants lost a close one.  I think their problem is that their rich quarterback and coach's combined age is 300.

The #1 happiest state is UTAH.
The reason:  Each man 15 wives!

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Jared Subway

Jared Fogle was released by Subway Sandwiches.

But he has a new job with

YOUNG CHICK-FIL-A!

At least he knocked Donald Trump from the front headlines.

Thursday, August 06, 2015

VOTE FOR Trump

Want a reason to vote for Trump??
Here's a good one. 
This woman would be our First Lady...

As Barney Frank said
The Republicans are trying to do
Shakespeare
With a DRUNK in the Room 

AND, I think she would look great

on the 10 Dollar Bill!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Boston Bomber Death

Hey Criminals!

A little advice!

If you are up for the death penalty

maybe don't

do this!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Sofia Vergara movie TANKED

Sofia Vergara had a movie out this week called "Hot Pursuit" which TANKED.
  It made very little money.

Sofia should not be depressed.  But she should stay home today in bed and sulk.

Maybe have some comfort food like EGGS.

I wonder if she likes them 
OVER-EASY or FROZEN!

Sunday, May 03, 2015

Mayweather Jenner

So Floyd Mayweather Jr beat up Manny Pacquiao.

I heard Mayweather also pleaded guilty to beating his wife and his girlfriend in Vegas and Michigan.

I also heard that his next bout will be with

Bruce Jenner!


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