Academy Awards Funny

Christian Bale just forgot his wife's name in the acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor.
He just won a big award but is walking off the stage thinking, "I just had the biggest moment of my life and Man and I'm really in the shit when I get home!"

Kirk Douglas was great!

NEW DATING WEBSITES

Here are some new and exciting DATING SITES TO CONSIDER!



Gay Men....instead of GAYDATING .COM now are trying

BEHINDTHEBUSHINTHEPARK.COM


REAL HOUSEWIFE'S OF NEW JERSEY & ATLANTA &

ORANGE COUNTY are not using MATCH.COM but

GUYWITHNOTESTICALS.COM



And guys looking for a REAL FUN TIME have switched from

RATEMYBODY.COM to....


LOCKEDINCHARLIESHEEN'SBATHROOM.COM

Britney New Album

HERE'S ANOTHER BRITNEY VIDEO.

check it out


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYqxIgGBs5U

Playboy Mansion Spanx

Health officials on Saturday were investigating complaints of illnesses that a media report said affected dozens of people after a fundraiser at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles.
WAS IT CHLAMYDIA??  
You never know what STDs could be hanging out around that mansion!

Hugh Heffner has some STDs that are soo old...He got them from Christopher Colombus's wife! 

ALSO

The Sunday morning news show "MEET THE PRESS" is now sponsored by SPANX SHAPEWEAR!
They changed the name of the show to
 "PRESS THE MEAT".

Also

SUBWAY SANDWICH SHOPS are suing another sandwich shop for using the term "FOOTLONG"

My nickname with the Ladies is "FOOTLONG"

Not because I have a BIG DING DONG but because I have really LOOOONG FEET!

Egypt Day of Cleaning

Egypt declared a DAY OF CLEANING
How about next a DAY OF COOKING
Followed by a DAY OF EATING
a DAY OF SLEEPING
Maybe then a DAY OF ELECTING
And then Possibly a couple DAYS OF GOVERNING
Then
Maybe a DAY OF EATING, SLEEPING, DANCING, LOVING AND SINGING

7 DAYS

Let's Get It Started
Let's Get It Started Over There
Let's Get It Started!!!!!
Congrats

Next Stop looks like ........................ALGERIA

MUBARAK RESIGNS!

HE DIDN'T RESIGN.............................



HE WAS FIRED, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If he wasn't fired, they were going to SET HIM ON FIRE!

The USA spent 1.3 Billion a year in Egypt...
I think a BILLION went to Mubarak's PLASTIC SURGEON...  The Ex-dictator looks great for 82!


Did he shoot Anwar Sadat 30 years ago?