Trump and the Tan Lady

                                 Is Donald Trump starting to look like a RACCOON with those tan lines?
                  We should check his BIRTH CERTIFICATE to make sure he is not related to this lady!

Gaga Sign CEO

Someone threatened to tenderize her meat dress
and that country has a very strict FACE CODE!

I think this sign company might need a few more workers in the creative department!

I want to work at a company where the CEO doesn't really wear a real shirt!

Outlaw Forces

Here's a few things I saw in the news

These are the famous Outlaws Bonnie and Bonnie

Just in time too.  She was about to eat THE KITCHEN!

This guy has a VERY FORCEFUL DENTIST!

Pregnant Man Food Network

Just a Few Items in the News Today

HE GOT TO KEEP HIS UTERUS!

SHE IS NOT A NATURAL BLONDE
AND HER SKIN HAS A MANLY SHINE!
What's the MAJOR Announcement?
 Swallowed a bottle of ZANAX?

Robin Gibb

Hey everybody

Robin Gibb is not STAYIN ALIVE

Sorry  I STARTED TO JOKE

Donna Summers and Robin Gibb, two Disco Icons dead within three days of each other.

LAST DANCE

Thanks for the great tunes YOU TWO !

Drunk Doctor

I got a bad ear infection. 
I asked the Drunken Doctor why and he said,
"You got infected mainly because you're full of shit!"

I told the Drunk Doctor that I thought I was growing Whiskers.
He asked if I had ice for the Whiskey.

I told him I had a CRAMP and PAIN and the Drunk Doctor said,
"That Champaigne better be chilled!"

And guy came in and said he was SHOT!
The Drunk Doctor said, "Make that a DOUBLE SHOT for me baby!"

A woman came in with a bad cut and the Drunk Doctor told me,
"It's just BLOODY MARY. And I don't make much of a CELERY!"

Then a guy came in and said he stepped on something sharp
The Drunk Doctor knew immediately He had a RUSTY NAIL.

Someone was pounding in the office next to the Drunk Doctor and he said it was HARVEY WALLBANGER.

By the way, the nurse in the Drunk Doctor's office is named MARGARITA!

Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Is this the celebration of Mexican Independence or
is this the day when Drug Cartels kill Five People in every town?
mybad

Tanning Booth Lady

That tanning booth woman accused of taking her 6 year old daughter into the tanning booth is from Nutley, New Jersey.  The team mascot for their high school is the Nutley NUTS!

I think she qualifies as the NEW MASCOT!

Mitt ROMNEY's Dog

Hey. Don't get Mitt Romney MAD at you.

He won't
THROW YOU UNDER THE BUS

He will
PUT YOU ON TOP OF THE CAR!