CHILIAN MINERS

The first thing they should send down to the TRAPPED CHILIAN MINERS are SHIRTS!!!

These guys are starting to CREEP ME OUT!!!

                                                              Come on..............

NO SHIRTS, NO SHOES...... NO SAVING!

WE GOT A DRESS CODE UP HERE BOYS !!!!

Just kidding ...Best of Luck guys!

BIGGEST KITTY PALS

Tiger Woods Golf Party

I was playing TIGER WOODS VIDEO GAME GOLF and it was cool but I think they should have you going out after the match with TIGER.  Pickin up the hookers or texting your secret sweetie.
I don't want to play golf so much as I want to PARTY afterwards with TIGER.
Now that's a VIDEO GAME I'll pay BIG money for..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HuetBCgDt0
PAJAMA MAN     FUNNY

BURKA FACE

Today, France voted to BAN the BURKAS called NIQUBS which cover a woman's FACE.

The French Legislature noted one exception and said that only one person must still cover her face with a NIQUB when in France.....














LADY GAGA











BUTTERFACE


One French parlimentarian was quoted as saying,

"In her case, It makes perfect sense !"
"LET'S FACE IT" Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-wzgrk8lTA

MONKEY PANTS

A Peruvian man was stopped at the Mexico City Airport because he had 18 endangered TITI MONKEYS in his pants.

THAT'S CRAZY !!!!!

Nobody should have more than SIX TITI MONKEYS in his pants at any one time.

No Exceptions.

Police said "He was acting nervous" with the 18 TITI Monkeys in his pants.
Hell, I'd act nervous with ONE TITI Monkey in my pants.

You have to be REAL careful how you sit down with 18 TITI Monkeys in your pants.

And where does a TITI Monkey hang out? At a TITI BAR?
What does a TITI Monkey read? A TITI Magazine??????

Do TITI Monkeys get STRETCH MARKS?!?!?

MONKEY ON REDBULL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiljDPwgRWs

EXETER

The Guy was all proud cause he went to EXETER College.

I said, "Oh yeah, I went to ENTER HER!

MARILYN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ttu-Iz-5w0

ADVICE for HUMANS FROM DOGS

WAG MORE.......

BARK LESS.......

Oh and watch what's in the TOILET when you're drinking out of it......

RED DOG VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QNNyQE1NtI

DOGS AND CATS ON THE STREET IN NYC...VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwJLaWuHuzE

SORCERER'S CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

The Sorcerer's Apprentice is about a SORCERER (NICK CAGE) who tells a APPRENTICE (Jay Baruchel) how to LOOSE ALL HIS MONEY with a BAD BUSINESS MANAGAER.

Jay tells Nick "YOU'RE FIRED"!

Nick Cage pulls a NAOMI CAMPBELL and throws his CELL PHONE at the APPRENTICE, hits him in the head and kills him.

Sorry to ruin the movie for you............................................

BIGGEST LOSER

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LHsmjW-Wug

WASHINGTON EARTHQUAKE

There was an EARTHQUAKE at 5:05 A.M. in Washington, DC

The coolest thing happened...

Al Gore didn't have to pay for his MASSAGE....

He just laid under the shaking girls hands and said, "Great"!


OBAMA BOOTY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh-mDhPMjB8

LAST AIR BENDER

Hey, is that movie THE LAST AIRBENDER

Really about

The last guy who could blow a fart

out of his EAR?

I hope so

That sounds like a Real GAS!

BIGGEST LOSER BEACH WORKOUT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LHsmjW-Wug

IRAN STONED CHEATER

Hey, they are going to stone a lady in Iran for cheating on her guy.

My girls are usually STONED before they cheat on me!!!

GLEE TV

So I'm watchin TV and Glee is singing and dancing and America's Got Talent... I got on... and Gordon Ramsey is Cooking and So You Think You Can Dance is dancing.

There's nothing but cooking, singing and dancing on TV at Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happened to Killing, fighting and smashing????
Cheating, Robbing and stealing???
Burning, exploding and blasting????

No Charlie's Angels!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-Zdm5QC6nQ

RED HAIR MUSIC

New Jersey Marijuana

Hey hey
New Jersey now has Same-Sex Marraige and Medical Marijuana
Now if they would give out free Vodka and Cranberry...

this place would be a party!

And check out MARILYN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ttu-Iz-5w0

PAJAMA MAN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HuetBCgDt0

Larry's Retiring?!?!?!

Hey, Larry King announced he won't be doing his show on CNN anymore to spend more time at home. Did anyone tell his poor wife? Does she know? She's probably like, "Just what I need. This old dude hanging around the house all day. Thanks CNN!" "Hanging up his suspenders! That means his pants will be down all day.... OMG!"
Poor Lady

Resume

Business Question

Should you list all of the SEX TAPES you were in on your RESUME?
Or just the ones with a KARDASHIAN?

Vagina Chrysler

A surgeon in Maryland removed a donated kidney through a woman's VAGINA! Medical costs are so high they removed the woman's wallet through her ANUS! Ouch!

Chrysler Motor Cars is offering their employees $50,000 and a new car if the quit. I know what I would do...I would take the money, jump in the free car, grab some beer and drive to Las Vegas. I'd probably be walking home poor in three hours ... and I'd be out of work.....

DOGS ARE SMART, I THINK

A study showed that DOGS have a sense of FAIRNESS. That's why they lick each other's butts...It's Only Fair! I'll lick yours if you lick mine. Sounds fair to me!

Another study showed that DOGS can sniff out UNFAIR situations. And apparently ALL of those Situations are in other dogs BUTTS!

Bullet in Head

Thursday, January 01, 2009
Bullit in Head
In Riviera Beach, Florida a shooting victim went to work with a bullet in his head.
Hell, I feel like I have a bullet in my head every day where I work!

Actor Jeremy Pevin left the Broadway show SPEED THE PLOW because he said, "He had MERCURY POISONING!"
The producer did not believe him and said Jeremy was going to get a job as a THERMOMETER!

Wlidlife Experts said Santa's Reindeers were probably MALE because most FEMALE reindeer are prgnant at Christmas and "You don't hook up your pregnant females to a sled."
Now they tell me. I'll be right back. I have to go and unhook my wife from our sled!

HAPPY New year

pet treats

I was at a high-end pet boutique and saw these chew sticks that I thought were RAWHIDE. They said, "No! Dogs should never eat rawhide leather." And then explained that the chew sticks were really made from "BULL PENIS"...
I said, "BULL PENIS?" They said, "Yeah, dogs love them...

and keep them away from your WIFE!