LEARN TO BE FUNNY: LINDSEY ON THE GROUND

LEARN TO BE FUNNY: LINDSEY ON THE GROUND

CHARLIE SHEEN ESCORTS TSA X-RAYS

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT NEW

TSA AIRPORT SCREENINGS ARE

BEING DONE    WOMAN



ON WOMAN........

AND MAN



ON MAN



I THINK THAT CREATES



A LARGE AMOUNT OF JOBS



FOR THE HOMO



SEXUAL COMMUNITY



IN THESE HARD TIMES.










MOST COVETED POSITION!



CHIEF TESTICAL AGENT IS THE



THE TSA'S NEW POLICY IS NOT



    



DON'T ASK   DON'T TELL         BUT



      

 



 







 







YOU CAN TELL ALL YOU WANT......





I'M STILL GETTING

PAID FOR THIS !!!!!!



    



I WAS HOPING



A LADY AGENT WOULD



 









AND MAYBE I MIGHT



PAT ME DOWN ...



  





 



HAVE TO SLIP $10.00 

 


INTO HER



GUN BELT !!





THESE ARE THE TOP SECRET



TSA GOVERNMENT X-RAYS

  

 

THIS GUY TRIED TO SMUGGLE
A KNIFE ON-BOARD !

THIS LADY TRIED TO AVOID
THE BEVERAGE CHARGE !



HERE ARE THE SECRET TSA X-RAYS
 OF CHARLIE SHEEN'S ESCORTS

(PLEASE GROPE)



GRACIE

SABLE

TIFFANY

BRISTOL

AMBER







OH LA LA

PENNY

I NEED A CIGARETTE AFTER THAT !!!!!!!!







DOGS SMARTER THAN CATS

Researchers found that DOGS are SMARTER than CATS.
They gave all this brain-size and socialization information
but everyone knows that
CATS just ACT DUMBER than DOGS

TO GET MORE TREATS

Memory Loss 2

Do you know when memory loss is a real big problem?

When you can't remember where you put your VIAGARA!!!!

Memory Loss

I did Stand Up Comedy at some club downtown, I forget the name.
That was my problem with Stand Up
I couldn't remember the jokes.
I'd say, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Everyone would look at me.
And I would say, " No, I really don't remember.  I'm really asking you...
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? 
I HOPED maybe one of you might have the ANSWER!"

NEXT JOKE

"Why did the CUE CARD GUY take a BREAK?
No, really....why?"

I wasn't a big hit at the club

BAD CAT........BAD

Susan Boyle Naked

At the airport they asked me if I had any HAZZARDOUS MATERIALS

I told them I did

I had naked pictures of SUSAN BOYLE !!!!!!!!!

CHILE DRILLER

JEFF HART

CHIEF DRILLER

That should get him a date!!!

CONGRATS EVERYBODY

Workout in Times Square

How to BARK like a DOG

World's Biggest Cat (orig.)

GEORGE MICHAEL JAILED

There's GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS for George Michael.

The BAD NEWS is he was sentenced to 8 WEEKS in JAIL for being on drugs while crashing his car.

The GOOD NEWS for GEORGE is that......... HE gets 8 WEEKS IN JAIL!!!!!!!

He tryed to do it in a Public Restroom in Beverly Hills once.
Jail will be like a resort.

He couldn't have booked a better time if he used the "TRAVELOCITY" section of "CRAIG'S LIST"!

He asked the judge if he could throw on a few EXTRA weeks for REALLY GOOD BEHAVIOR!.

CHILIAN MINERS

The first thing they should send down to the TRAPPED CHILIAN MINERS are SHIRTS!!!

These guys are starting to CREEP ME OUT!!!

                                                              Come on..............

NO SHIRTS, NO SHOES...... NO SAVING!

WE GOT A DRESS CODE UP HERE BOYS !!!!

Just kidding ...Best of Luck guys!

BIGGEST KITTY PALS

Tiger Woods Golf Party

I was playing TIGER WOODS VIDEO GAME GOLF and it was cool but I think they should have you going out after the match with TIGER.  Pickin up the hookers or texting your secret sweetie.
I don't want to play golf so much as I want to PARTY afterwards with TIGER.
Now that's a VIDEO GAME I'll pay BIG money for..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HuetBCgDt0
PAJAMA MAN     FUNNY

BURKA FACE

Today, France voted to BAN the BURKAS called NIQUBS which cover a woman's FACE.

The French Legislature noted one exception and said that only one person must still cover her face with a NIQUB when in France.....














LADY GAGA











BUTTERFACE


One French parlimentarian was quoted as saying,

"In her case, It makes perfect sense !"
"LET'S FACE IT" Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-wzgrk8lTA

MONKEY PANTS

A Peruvian man was stopped at the Mexico City Airport because he had 18 endangered TITI MONKEYS in his pants.

THAT'S CRAZY !!!!!

Nobody should have more than SIX TITI MONKEYS in his pants at any one time.

No Exceptions.

Police said "He was acting nervous" with the 18 TITI Monkeys in his pants.
Hell, I'd act nervous with ONE TITI Monkey in my pants.

You have to be REAL careful how you sit down with 18 TITI Monkeys in your pants.

And where does a TITI Monkey hang out? At a TITI BAR?
What does a TITI Monkey read? A TITI Magazine??????

Do TITI Monkeys get STRETCH MARKS?!?!?

MONKEY ON REDBULL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiljDPwgRWs

EXETER

The Guy was all proud cause he went to EXETER College.

I said, "Oh yeah, I went to ENTER HER!

MARILYN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ttu-Iz-5w0

ADVICE for HUMANS FROM DOGS

WAG MORE.......

BARK LESS.......

Oh and watch what's in the TOILET when you're drinking out of it......

RED DOG VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QNNyQE1NtI

DOGS AND CATS ON THE STREET IN NYC...VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwJLaWuHuzE

SORCERER'S CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

The Sorcerer's Apprentice is about a SORCERER (NICK CAGE) who tells a APPRENTICE (Jay Baruchel) how to LOOSE ALL HIS MONEY with a BAD BUSINESS MANAGAER.

Jay tells Nick "YOU'RE FIRED"!

Nick Cage pulls a NAOMI CAMPBELL and throws his CELL PHONE at the APPRENTICE, hits him in the head and kills him.

Sorry to ruin the movie for you............................................

BIGGEST LOSER

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LHsmjW-Wug